The other day the Divergent series was showing on TV and my mom--who hardly watches TV--happened to wander in. I tried to explain what was happening and ended up reducing the entire series to "Basically it's like a dystopian world where personality tests are taken to an extreme." Bear with me, Divergent fans, before I get death threats. I obviously didn't understand the movie as much as I thought I did. My fascination with personality tests started from wary cynicism to happy dances and deep heartfelt sighs. Two significant influences in my life--Jamie Delainie and the book Creative Writing for People Who Can't Not Write by Kathryn Lindskoog--were my first exposure to the whole concept of personality tests. Lindskoog gave the background to the conception of Myers-Briggs, and used the concept in her discussion of writers (double win!) Jamie, a self-professed believer in the Myers-Briggs, referenced it in understanding herself and even in dating (as an INTJ married to a ENFJ!) I first experienced the thrill that personality tests hook you with when I read Lindskoog and related on a deep and personal level to some of the descriptions. Don't laugh--I remember meticulously copying them out in my journal because they felt like an oracle. Recently I felt the same thrill when I came across this article on introverts and extroverts. After multiple fist pumps I showed it to my sister and got another round of deep satisfaction by seeing her own awed response of heartfelt resonance. We exchanged high fives fervently and punctuated paragraphs with pointed fingers: 5. It’s hard to get us out, but we’ll have a great time when we go out. "No wonder--" 13. We don’t actually have a staple “group” of friends. "So THAT'S why--" 6. We’re not always the most talkative people in a group, but if someone is in need of a social life jacket, we can step up and offer that. "Just like when--" 3. We suck at responding to texts because sometimes we don’t want to talk – to anyone. *prolonged screaming* (I need to set this as my Whatsapp status so people won't be offended if I take my time to reply them. Oh wait. They'd be even more offended because they'd take it personally. Ah well. Better stick with a quote.) Since discovering that I could classify myself as a high-functioning introvert (or extroverted introvert, as David Khim in the article defines) several things made more sense to me--for example, I'm not a terrible person and neither do I need better friends, because I find it hard to drag myself out of the house for social engagements, which feel at that time like terrible ideas UNTIL I'm actually irrevocably there, upon which I proceed to have a good time. But I'l spare you the long-winded rave; the internet is already full of the flagellatory glorying of introverts over their label. It's like a reverse Scarlet Letter; we all feel it's a badge of honour but we get a huge kick out of treating it like it's a bad thing. Very Asian. "Aiya, it's too salty lah, I think I burnt the sauce also, the pork belly not as tender as it's supposed to be, not up to standard lah, so paiseh you have to eat my lousy cooking..." in response to cries of congratulations and people dying from the deliciousness of that thing. (Extroverts do seem to be a dying breed. Maybe I should bring in a rant against the effects of technology on this generation here. Or then again maybe they're just too busy using their energy being loud in real life to make as much of a presence on the internet.) Why the fascination for personality tests, anyway? I think it's because they accommodate our conflicting desire to be at once unique and same--part of a community, yet set apart. We are so happy that we can at once identify as part of a group--INTJ or extrovert or whatever!--and as set apart, different from the Other. We resonate to the YES THAT'S ME...but we also need the Nah I don't know what they're talking about. On a more positive note--cynicism and pessimism are the greatest inevitable occupational hazards of studying literature--I think personality tests are good because they help us, in one of the most hands-on and concrete, direct ways possible, to accept differences and even embrace them. That clingy friend or the friend who chronically misses calls (me) or the one who plans a huge elaborate surprise party for the introverted friend who is so embarrassed and horrified they want to lie down and die. Quietly. Without anyone around. Or the ones who are always--ALWAYS--on time...and the ones who are always--ALWAYS--late. You know who you are. Don't take personality tests so seriously that you reject change. They're guides, not limitations. I'd better say this now before anyone thinks I'm proposing it's the key to World Peace, that we ought to start living out Divergent. But have fun with them too! Find out your personality type and feel free to roll your eyes if the next time you take the test, you get something different (also me.) Laugh at yourself and when other people are different from you, don't pull your hair out (or worse, theirs); laugh together. I'm tempted to paraphrase that joke on introverts here--laugh together, but separately and in your own homes. |
the process of appreciating life
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