Butter cookies were part of my childhood. Not just any butter cookies--I scorned the imitation brands which tried feebly to trick one into buying them. Everyone knew there was only one type of butter cookies. The Danish brand that came in a handsome round navy blue tin with something that I always assumed was the heraldic crest of the Royal House of Butter Cookies. Everyone in this part of the world, I am convinced, has grown up under this benign crest. That blue tin is in every house. Sometimes it holds craft materials, or broken crayons, almost always sewing supplies, but always the benevolent ghosts of the Royal Danish Butter Cookies. You might be surprised to hear after this that I didn't actually like butter cookies all that much. They were nice when they were fresh, but too many memories of being firmly force fed stale butter cookies by older siblings left a bad taste. Having said that, children are impressionable. Very impressionable. So when I heard my mother enthusing with the rapture of nostalgia how butter cookies had been her childhood food, how delicious fresh butter cookies were, and how she always ate four--one of each shape they came in--my impressionable little mind, and subsequently stomach, was swayed. I realized, as I watched my family dig into a newly opened blue tin, that one's choice of butter cookie was an accurate gage of one's maturity. Peering over my glass of milk, I saw that I was the only one who had chosen the sugar pretzel. Even though it was clearly the most attractive, studded with rough translucent pearls of coarse sugar. My second sister shared my appreciation for sugar but she preferred the sugar loaf with its simple solid outline. My oldest sister only ate her favourite, the vanilla curl. This one I grudgingly admitted was elegant with its sleek twist outlined so nicely, but it was so plain; it could never compete with the sugar pretzel to me. Mom' favourite was the raisin coconut one, the ugliest of all, rough and misshapen with a coarse surface due to the waves of coconut beneath the surface, broken only by the occasional raisin. It lacked the elegant smoothness of the vanilla curl or the luscious prettiness of the pretzel and sugar loaf. I couldn't understand, so I decided it was proof of Mom's maturity. I knew I had made an accurate observation when I found my tastes changing as I got older. First, I suddenly discovered the delights of the sugar loaf's firm, square solid shape, the satisfying feeling of biting off one end. Then--a great leap forward--the vanilla curl didn't seem so boring after all. Plain butter cooky was still nice without the crown of sugar. From then on the raisin coconut one was only a matter of time. Soon I was hunting for one that had a raisin, exactly as my mom had. However, I know that I have regressed in maturity because in recent years every time a new blue tin is opened I find myself drawn to the sugar loaf. Maybe I'm finally old enough to be nostalgic. But I comfort myself that I haven't regressed to the sugar pretzel yet--maybe in the future when I'm trying to be young again. One of the most satisfying things to do on the internet is to read those Life Hacks compilations. Never have I been tempted to feel less that I'm wasting time on the web. After all, compared to scrolling through an endless train of cute animals and watching semi-documentary like videos on how food is made (I spent ten whole minutes last night watching in goggle-eyed fascination how candy canes, rainbow sprinkles, and ketchup is made; I'd have gone on too if I hadn't finished all the suggested videos on this topic) you actually feel like you're processing useful information, something that directly relates to real life. Of course, too often the truth is that there are so many life hacks our eyes glaze over and we can't remember a single one after that, or daren't trust our vague memories. Did one apply vapor rub on mosquito bites or use a hot spoon? Or was it a cold spoon? Or maybe that was for pimples? Recently I've been experiencing the annual last-month-before-finals syndrome. Except this time, as I keep reminding myself, is the last time. I try my best to appreciate it while I can, something which theoretically is great but becomes a lot harder as you take a look at your study schedule, at your schedule with the red ink of all your exam dates bleeding closer and closer. Basically any schedule of any sort that reminds you of the relentless linear progression of time. I think I'm doing pretty well stress-wise (or maybe I'm just really good at denial.) I like to think that it's partly due to several habits I've developed over the past few years to deal with stress; aha! my very own life hacks! I hereby introduce you to the grand total of my Five Life Hacks. First of all--exercise. Before you write me off as unrealistic, remember exercise isn't limited to scenic jogs or gymning in branded sportswear with a photogenic nutrishake you made yourself this morning waiting for you on the bench. Contrary to what Instagram propagates. Do push-ups or sit-ups or plank till you're breathless, your heart is pounding, and your muscles burning. Though this of course depends on your level of fitness, the fact is it probably won't take as long as you think. I remember thinking I had no time for exercise until I realized one day that my standard exercise routine took less time than two consecutive songs on my playlist. After all, when you feel like you're dying time moves slowly. That classic post-workout high and sense of satisfaction does wonders for stress. After working your brain so hard, it feels good to work your muscles instead for a change. This was reinforced by something I read by Adam4d (the creator of some hilarious and insightful comics I've enjoyed) on how he used exercise to help him cope with social anxiety. An eye-opening and very helpful read which also affirmed to me how important exercise is, not just physically, but mentally. Secondly--drink water. No, seriously. This one may be harder to swallow--no pun intended. I find it very therapeutic gulping cool water from a giant bottle (no measly cup for me.) And I have some support from Cal Newport who mentioned this, I think, as one of the ways to keep yourself focused and alert during a long study block; somewhere in his How To Be a Straight A Student/How to be a High School Superstar series (the titles, right? Don't judge. They're really quite interesting and helpful.) I was rather surprised to see this in the Korean dramas my grandma watches where the outraged mother-in-law calls for a glass of water in the middle of throwing a fit, and downs it in one breath, staving off the heart attack which otherwise seemed unavoidable. A rather dramatic way to convey water is good for you. For your skin, as current beauty trends seem to recently (if belatedly) have discovered; but most of all for your brain and your organs, which are rather more important. Since I was small I always had terribly dry skin. I could tell whether I'd been drinking more or less water, based on whether I could draw tic tac toe on my leg with my fingernail. So my "hippopotamus size water bottle" (according to my grandma) came about quite naturally. Thirdly--when overwhelmed, lists are your best friend. I understand not everyone loves lists with the passion that I do. But I believe everyone gets frazzled and overwhelmed, and from my own experience lists are the most effective way of dealing with it. Jamie Delainie talked about a 'mind dump' as a way of coping with this sort of stress--she simply writes down everything that's floating around in her mind. This gives you a sense of security that you don't have to remember everything, also that you've actually started doing something about (an illusion, of course, but sometimes a vital one.) It helps you see everything at a glance, paving the way for priorities and strategy. Make a list. Free yourself from the panic-inducing ghosts of Things I Have to Do, Things I Forgot to Do, Things I Should Have Done Last Week, to paraphrase A Christmas Carol. When I saw the below comic I didn't laugh--I related too much to it even for that. I got all mushy and sentimental to the extent I saved it on my phone, and I wouldn't be surprised if I started using it as a phone lockscreen. Fourthly. You know that feeling when you're rushing stuff at home, or not feeling that good, and you just want to lump at home in comfortably clothes and messy hair? Always comes when you have to go out for something. And you procrastinate and drag your feet even after your alarm for leaving the house has rung, and know you're going to be late which will make it worse, but-- Just focus on looking great. Get yourself ready to go, physically but also mentally, by dressing up. When your hair looks good and you like your outfit and you've chosen a bag that matches, it won't feel half so bad having to leave the house. Feeling pleased with how you look can only improve your mood. I have no support for this except a basic knowledge of human vanity. But it works. Fifthly--SNT. Not to be confused with SNL (my sister has lately taken to binge-watching SNL to destress. My approval is pending.) SNT stands for Small Nice Thing, which really can be anything in your definition of 'nice.' If I have a full, tiring day or something I dread to face, I encourage myself with a SNT to look forward to. As I'm running for the bus I'll plan, maybe, to get milk tea later before I start a long study block. Or my favourite Thai lunch set--how can you not smile at an egg sunny side up? SNT shouldn't be limited to food, however, for obvious economic reasons as well as to make sure you don't end up developing stress eating habits. You could wear a favourite outfit that you feel good in. Or sing in the shower. Or stop to pet your favourite cat. Finding ways to help you enjoy and appreciate the life you have when it's all too easy not to is a lot more significant than it seems. It's like reclaiming your life and yourself, refusing to let it be completely defined and dominated by whatever currently hangs over it. Don't lose your perspective. I like to tell myself "by this time next week/next month/in two weeks' time/by Thursday this will be over, it won't be important anymore the way it is now." You'd be surprised how liberating it is. But hold on--I suppose that was a sixth Life Hack? |
the process of appreciating life
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